So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
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He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
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In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize