the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
