i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
