some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
