I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
