I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
