i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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