with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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