i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
pop tarts are not kleenex
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
