How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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