So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I know her cup size but not her name....
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
