Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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