She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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