Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
