singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
