I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
