Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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