May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
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If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
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i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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