just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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