So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
