woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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