I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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