yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
