Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
be right there i have to get my cape
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
