he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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