I wannas sexs uuuuu
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
