it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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