I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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