She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the day after is always just damage control
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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