Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
