I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
