So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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