I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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