So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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