Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
