I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
