a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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