its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
