drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
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So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
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I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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