he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
