dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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