I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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