we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize