so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
God, I missed his penis.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
