Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize