the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
