I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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