Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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