Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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