That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
