belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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