She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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