I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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