If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
