Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
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