If i come over, it means nothing
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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