I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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