You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
