I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
